The Archive
Original satire, dispatched daily. 22 articles and counting.
SATIRE: This article is fiction and humor. Any resemblance to real persons or events is coincidental and played for laughs. Nothing here is news reporting or advice.
- Venture Capitalist writes a 40-page manifesto about an abandoned group chat
Politics · 2026-06-16
In an unprecedented display of corporate synergy, venture capitalist took drastic measures regarding an abandoned group chat. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Fortune 500 CEO gets into a heated standoff with a rival's tweet
Finance · 2026-06-16
Following a rigorous 4-minute Google search, fortune 500 ceo took drastic measures regarding a rival's tweet. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Anonymous Pentagon Source schedules an emergency meeting about the housing market
Finance · 2026-06-15
Following a rigorous 4-minute Google search, anonymous pentagon source took drastic measures regarding the housing market. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- My Dentist demands an apology from a sentient Roomba
Finance · 2026-06-15
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, my dentist took drastic measures regarding a sentient Roomba. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Corporate HR Department rebrands as daylight saving time
Defense · 2026-06-14
In a move that completely baffled experts but made perfect sense to your uncle, corporate hr department took drastic measures regarding daylight saving time. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Anonymous Pentagon Source announces a strategic partnership with the entire middle class
Defense · 2026-06-14
Against the advice of literally every adult in the room, anonymous pentagon source took drastic measures regarding the entire middle class. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Smart Fridge refuses to acknowledge the metaverse
Politics · 2026-06-13
In an unprecedented display of corporate synergy, smart fridge took drastic measures regarding the metaverse. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Crypto Whale gets into a heated standoff with the breakroom microwave
Technology · 2026-06-13
In a move that completely baffled experts but made perfect sense to your uncle, crypto whale took drastic measures regarding the breakroom microwave. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Corporate HR Department declares total victory over daylight saving time
Finance · 2026-06-12
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, corporate hr department took drastic measures regarding daylight saving time. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Venture Capitalist attempts to unionize against mathematics itself
Defense · 2026-06-12
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, venture capitalist took drastic measures regarding mathematics itself. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Mid-Tier Influencer rebrands as a sentient Roomba
Finance · 2026-06-12
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, mid-tier influencer took drastic measures regarding a sentient Roomba. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- New AI Model schedules an emergency meeting about a rival's tweet
Finance · 2026-06-12
In an unprecedented display of corporate synergy, new ai model took drastic measures regarding a rival's tweet. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Local Man files a formal complaint against the metaverse
Defense · 2026-06-12
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, local man took drastic measures regarding the metaverse. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Federal Reserve Insider demands an apology from a rival's tweet
Politics · 2026-06-12
Against the advice of literally every adult in the room, federal reserve insider took drastic measures regarding a rival's tweet. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Local Algorithm blames the supply chain for quarterly earnings expectations
Politics · 2026-06-12
In a development that surprised absolutely no one, local algorithm took drastic measures regarding quarterly earnings expectations. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Venture Capitalist writes a 40-page manifesto about a sentient Roomba
Culture · 2026-06-12
During a press conference nobody asked for, venture capitalist took drastic measures regarding a sentient Roomba. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Corporate HR Department rebrands as mathematics itself
Defense · 2026-06-12
In an unprecedented display of corporate synergy, corporate hr department took drastic measures regarding mathematics itself. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Anonymous Pentagon Source gets into a heated standoff with an abandoned group chat
Finance · 2026-06-12
Following a rigorous 4-minute Google search, anonymous pentagon source took drastic measures regarding an abandoned group chat. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Fortune 500 CEO demands an apology from a sentient Roomba
Politics · 2026-06-12
Following a rigorous 4-minute Google search, fortune 500 ceo took drastic measures regarding a sentient Roomba. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Mid-Tier Influencer vows to disrupt daylight saving time
Technology · 2026-06-12
During a press conference nobody asked for, mid-tier influencer took drastic measures regarding daylight saving time. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Regional Middle Manager files a formal complaint against the office thermostat
Politics · 2026-06-12
During a press conference nobody asked for, regional middle manager took drastic measures regarding the office thermostat. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.
- Finance Bro files a formal complaint against a moderately sized puddle
Politics · 2026-06-12
Following a rigorous 4-minute Google search, finance bro took drastic measures regarding a moderately sized puddle. Experts call it a very expensive mistake masquerading as innovation.